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February 26 Wow! Its been forever!Someone was asking about my blog...and I realized its been a long time! My time online is limited now that I have a squiggly little girl to care for! I probably won't be continuing this blog, however I will be checking everyone's out periodically!
I will close with this. Being a mom is truly life changing. It was extremely tough at the beginning and even now, I'm learning and struggling almost every day! But now that she's smiling and cooing and interacting, its amazing! thank you all for your support and reading this blog (for the past several years). Good luck! December 08 The final update! :) Hey everyone!! I'm finally a mommy!! I did in fact make it to my scheduled c-section on Dec 2nd! So I went in at 6am on Tuesday morning for prep. It was a little scary, and during the actual c-section, I had a reaction to the meds and I threw up for most of my c-section! It took about an hour total, but when I heard my baby girl cry, it was the most amazing experience! Olivia was big, 8 lb 2 oz (so much for all the fear of having a preterm preemie baby) and 21 inches! She was in the 90th percentile for size! She is truly a beautiful little girl and we've been getting tons of compliments on her! She was very healthy, except there is some concern about her hip. We took her to an orthopedic pediatrician today for her first appt. Her left hip is a little loose, so they will keep an eye on it to make sure it improves by the time we go back in two weeks. If it doesn't, she'll have to wear a brace over the next few months to try to tighten it up. However, compared to all the fears I had about cleft palate and effects from my bipolar meds, a small hip issue doesn't worry me too much. I'm home now and in some pain. I have pain killers and these amazingly huge powerful 600 mg ibruprofen, but I still hurt. I'm not able to really pick Olivia up or anything, so my husband's doing the bulk of the work. Luckily, he LOVES being a dad and is soo ok with taking care of his "girls!" I'll be posting pics soon, but I'm waiting til we get real internet this week (instead of the slow dial-up I have right now). Birth (at least in c-section form) was pretty stressful and painful, but it ends up being worth it! My little girl is amazing and I'm already forgetting how miserable I was when I was pregnant.... :) November 19 Update.... I went to the doc yesterday afternoon. I'm not progressing any further because Olivia's breech and not putting enough pressure to dilate me further! So the skinny now is that the NP thinks I'll make it to my Dec 2nd scheduled c-section and probably won't go into labor before then. Hmmm....so I have 12 1/2 long days left until then. At least Thanksgiving with all of its wonderful trimmins' will keep me busy next week! Pregnancy! Its always an adventure! :) November 18 Proof that babies are unpredictable...Nope. Nothin'. I'm still pregnant! I've not progressed, I'm not having a lot of contractions, and thankfully I am now 37 1/2 weeks and considered full-term! Olivia is still breech, so I'm scheduled for a c-section on Dec. 2nd! I'm hoping to go into labor before then, but who knows? I'm off bedrest (thank God) so I've been able to unpack and do a lot of cleaning. So much for thinking I'd have her last week! :) So the maximum time I have to wait to meet my little munchkin is 14 days! WOW! November 12 24 days, but more like 1 or 2!Wondering about the title of my blog? Here's the pregnancy skinny.... At 34 weeks, I was having contractions. Ran to the hospital, and I was already 90% effaced and 1 1/2 cm dilated. So I was put on bedrest from 34 to 36 weeks (and yes, I had to move in that time and just sit on the couch while my lovely friends and family packed, moved, unpacked). I took pills to stop the contractions and got extremely bored (although I did catch up on my movies!). As of this past Saturday, I was off bedrest (I was at 36 weeks), but have still been taking it SUPER easy. Like I've left the house twice since Saturday. We frantically have packed the suitcase, finished the baby's room and purchased everything we needed! I went to the doctor today and in spite of doing almost nothing for the past 2 1/2 weeks, I have dilated to 3 cm and am still super super effaced. I've been having contractions off and on and the general consensus is I will probably be giving birth in the next day or so! WOW! So little Olivia will be 3 to 3 1/2 weeks early. There is still some risk of NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) time, but I am hoping/praying that she is happy and healthy. The doctor said at this point there is a slim to none chance of NICU time, mostly because she has been growing consistently and been very active! She will definitely be little though, so I had to stock up on newborn clothes and teeny tiny teeny newborn diapers (they are SOOO cute!). So I'll do my best to keep this updated, but if I'm quiet for a while, its definitely because I've had my baby! October 20 47 days left!Wow! I'm under the 50 day mark! We went to Walmart and picked up some diapers and wipes and suddenly it hit me! I'M HAVING A BABY! In the hustle and bustle of house buying and selling and moving, its easy to forget how quickly December 6th is coming up! Its exciting but a little overwhelming...
I'm finishing up my several baby projects - I made booties, two blankets and a hat. Tomorrow I'll start my diaper bag! I have to pack up all my craft stuff soon so I figured I better get stuff finished first!
So we have a hospital tour left, a car seat check, and a baby basics class....and then its just the waiting game till December!
Oh and hopefully we'll be closing Oct 29th for our new house! Meaning we only have 9 days left until we move! Hooray!
October 16 Thoughts on last night's debates...I have to get this out somewhere....
I watched most of the debates last night. It was interesting...I'm always amazed that McCain is so articulate! In fact, I thought his closing statement was more powerful than Obama's. The one thing that really bugs me is this:
I believe that Americans have a fundamental flaw in their thinking (not all, but many) that throwing money at things will "fix" them. Problems with schools? Just spend more money on it! Problems with Katrina? Just throw money at it! And yet these are complicated problems that are complicated by infrastructure problems, corrupt organizers, structural flaws, etc. Its more than just a lack of money! That being said, money does help. I'm not so naive to thinking that everything in America is perfectly funded. But system issues and the simple fact that people do not always use resources that are available make these complicated issues to fix.
I felt last night like Obama's answer to things is throw more money at them. For example, he discussed the importance of getting more kids to college...AWESOME! That's a great idea, but who pays for it? He discussed paying teachers more to have higher quality teachers. So true! But who pays for it? I understand that the logical response is to stop spending so much money on the war in Iraq, but Obama is not going to pull out of Iraq immediately...so I'm at a loss.
And in an economy that is quickly going down the toilet, where is that money coming from? One cannot argue that the national deficit is too large and then promise things that COST money. Very frustrating to me because ultimately, Obama sounds great! He wants better schools! More people going to college! Better health care! But WHO'S GONNA PAY FOR IT? Especially when people are getting more and more strapped and watching their retirement accounts bottoming out. I hope people realize that a simple bit of accounting is that you have to have debits AND credits in a country. We've had a president that has spent spent spent for the past 8 years. Let's not let this happen again! October 07 60 days left and counting...I have 60 days left! I actually took some 31 week pictures, but my computer was being finicky yesterday and refusing to load them! I'll try again later!
Quick update:
Our house FINALLY sold, so me and my husband are now trying to find and buy one of our own. Which is SUPER overwhelming - The cost! Finding the perfect house! Understanding the fees! Making an offer! The cost!
I've cut back on my work hours. I'm now working with adults (something I haven't done in a while, I've only been working with adolescents) and its a really nice change. I adore the clients and my coworkers and its nice to work with people who WANT to be helped (many teenagers do not!). It breaks my heart at moments to think that I'm working with people's parents/grandparents/wives/husbands and to think that mental illness has so debilitated them, but hopefully I can at least be a good listener and pass along some information about dealing with those issues.
My baby shower was this weekend - hooray! I think people had fun and I have 90% of the nursery ready...just a few more things to buy and I'll be ready for Miss Olivia! :) September 27 70 days left...and random thoughts...So as the title suggests, I only have 70 days left until my due date! I told my husband and he gave me a cartoon-like look...like this:
 Seriously.I started my childbirth classes which were super helpful and informative. We have three more which is exciting! Its neat being in a room full of expecting couples, kind of normalizes the experience!
Still working, although its getting difficult. And someone said to me recently..."Wow you don't look pregnant. I'm used to people being all round, not jiggly."
 It cracked me up. Some people get really offended when people make rude or odd comments to pregnant women. Not me. It seems like pregnancy opens people's social floodgates...when else do you ask women about their breasts/cervix/bowel movements? But all in all, I'm feeling good. I've gained about 10 1/2 pounds, so I actually look pregnant, not chunky (which I really worried about with my tendency to struggle with weight). I walked 2 miles a few nights ago, and I'm feeling spry 80% of the time! That being said, I'm ok with only 70 days left! I can't wait to be a mommy (which shocks my husband...I'm not the nurturing type!).
On a different note, I watched part of the presidential debate last night and realized three things:
1. McCain is SOO much more articulate than our current president. When he's on fire about something, he does not seem like the doddering grandfather people make him out to be.
2. I really hate debates. I just want to jump in and say "take your turn" or "the 2 minutes is up already!" For the most part, McCain and Obama seemed to do ok.
3. Some of the articles were complaining that there were no real knockout punches between them. GOOD! I got soo disgusted with the CONSTANT bickering between Kerry and Bush in the last election. I respect both candidates this time immensely because although they were doing little jabs here and there (as there always is in a debate), they were not tearing each other apart. They behaved like gentlemen.
And one last thing, I read an email going around about Sarah Palin criticizing her for being a hypocrite because she promoted abstinence education and her 17-year-old is pregnant. GET OVER IT! As someone who works with teenagers, you can push your values on them, but at a certain point, if they are going to sneak out and have sex with their boyfriend, THEY WILL DO IT. Regardless of what the parents believe. And on my pregnancy forums online, there are many many many 17 and 18 year olds getting knocked up these days. So STOP sending snipey emails about Palin's daughter. Criticize her policies, but do not use her personal life in that way. (Can you imagine how crappy the daughter feels...like "oh great, I totally screwed up in the public eye" when she should be excited about being a mom!)
*Ahem* I am stepping off my sopabox now. September 18 Some pics!I totally realized today that I had not updated my preggy pics in a while! So here you guys go! My most recent is 25 weeks, this Saturday I'll be at 29 weeks and I'll take a new one! Enjoy! 79 days to go!So as the heading suggests, I only have 79 days left till my due date! I remember when I hit 150 days left and that seemed like forever! I think one day I'll wake up and it will be 30 days and I'll be in shock!
Things are going good! Olivia's measuring where she should be, I feel her often and we've got the nursery 75% ready! My bipolar's definitely been interesting. I get very depressed and I'm suffering from severe anxiety. However, I just found a counselor to work with and should start going here in the next few weeks. I'm terrified of postpartum depression, so I want to have all my counseling ducks in a row before I have the baby.
I'm still working but my job is very very stressful and as I get bigger, its getting harder to do! I'm gonna start working two days a week, and soon drop to 1 1/2 days a week. I'm torn between my desire to make money and feeling so pooped at the end of the day that I don't want to ever go back!
I just have to be patient and have faith...something that I've been really struggling with. I think as I get closer to the end, and bigger, I'm really going to start struggling emotionally. But with counseling and support from family and friends, hopefully I'll get through this trying time in my life!
Oh and my baby shower's in two weeks, so that should be fun! :) August 30 And the VP is who???If you had asked me, who do you think Mccain will pick as a running mate, the LAST thing I would have said would be a young female governor! I was totally shocked. Once I thought about it strategically, I'm not so shocked, but boy, I learned yesterday that even jaded people like myself can be surprised by politicians (and not just in a "you had an affair with whom/what/etc??").
It cracked me up after the announcement because my local news came on. And lately I have been bitching about our local news. We live in a super low-crime, low-events (no hurricaines, tornados, earthquakes here) area, so our local news will get one story and hash the absolute crap out of it. So yesterday, Matt Lauer tells me (and millions of others) about McCain's choice. Gives a little bit of info, awesome, concise, done.
Then the local news comes on. Well it turns out Palin graduated from University of Idaho (just like me!). So the local newsguy repeats everything Matt Lauer just said, but to make it "local" talks about her going to U of Idaho. Then he says something like "our station is going to U of I today to see if we can get you more information on Palin." Umm....yeah. She graduated in 1987. I doubt there are many people who remember her after 21 YEARS! But hey, local newspeople have to spin it somehow right?
Does anyone else have news stations with too much "free" time on their hands? August 29 Less than 100 days!WOW! I am finally in the double digit range till my due date! Tomorrow I am at 26 weeks, which means as of tomorrow, I only have 98 days left till my due date! That's exciting! Olivia has been kicking and moving a ton! We also bought a SUPER cute stroller/car seat set that is pink and gray! I got a great deal! I've been cutting back on work quite a bit. I love my job, but I work with troubled adolescents and I don't always feel safe around them. Its not that they are unsafe, its just that I feel so vulnerable at moments. Last week, I had nightmares about my job, so I decided I need to take care of my mental health first! In spite of my desire to earn money and pay off debt! And its been wonderful to have free time! I've been making cards! I made 20 thank you cards for my baby shower this weekend, and then I made 24 invitations for my second baby shower in October! WOW! Its so fun, although making a few cards is much more fun than frantically making 20. I'll take some pics for you all! Enjoy your three-day weekend everyone! August 20 Registries, morning sickness and funnel cake, oh my!So I'm going to Spokane for a baby shower in a few weeks (I'm having one up there as a joint thing with my sister-in-law who's due in Oct, and then one down here). I'm frantically trying to get my registry ready, although the word on the street is that people rarely buy you things from your registry....So we'll see! I have the big stuff, but I've been adding little things like a headrest, a car mirror, etc. here and there. Its at least getting me thinking about what I'll need for the baby!
I've finally started buying clothes...I figured that at 20 weeks, I needed to buck up, get excited and realize that I am having a baby! So me and my mom have done several consignment store runs, so I have a dresser full of clothes for under $100!
The house still has not sold, its just a terrible market right now. The latest figures are 5000 empty houses for sale in the Boise valley area. We live in just one of many beautiful, good deal houses. So I'm going to just start organizing the nursery here, and if I have to move later, so be it. I am disappointed because we were going to paint a mural, but that will probably not happen! I might just make a big painting and hang that up!
I'm frantically trying to find Hello Kitty fabric to make a diaper bag. I have two on Ebay that I'm looking at.
Other than that, I've been working about 20 hours a week and trying to keep myself busy! I'm making invitations (with a friend) for my baby shower, so I've been scouring the shops for stamps, paper, etc. Let me tell you, when they said scrapbooking was expensive, I didn't fully believe it! But its true! I remember those wooden stamps being like $5 (maybe) back in the day, but now that card making and scrapbooking are trendy, they are WAY more than that! I'm off to Wal-mart today to see what it can do for me!
As far as morning sickness goes, still sick most mornings. I made it to the fair last night and let me tell you, funnel cake with powdered sugar is to die for! I split it with three other people, who all kept saying "I don't know how one person could eat all this." Hmm....that sounds like a challenge to me! I could definitely eat a whole one! :) August 09 More time flying by...I really really wish I wasn't blogging because I was out being busy and useful...but the truth is, I'm just too lazy to write. After two years of graduate school, its hard to get motivated to write anything but case notes at work (and even those end up being "interestingly" written).
Olivia (our baby) is doing good! I'm still sick every morning, but pregnancy is nice! I definitely won't be one of those moms that LOVED being pregnant, but its been an interesting experience that I am blessed to have.
We watched the Olympic Opening Ceremonies last night. Always interesting...although the ENDLESS commentary got a little old. It was neat to see all of the people marching, although the stabbing of the volleyball coach's family and some of the sad facts about the Middle Eastern countries kind of dampened my "go world!" feeling. I think it was Afghanistan? that had one woman athlete (progress!) but she has disappeared from the country after recieving death threats. Then hearing about the stabbing, I'm not feeling as patriotic and excited as when watching the ones in Greece four years ago. It was a reminder that an elaborate ceremony cannot make up or heal the violence and evil in the world.
Anybody else a little unenthusiastic about the Olympics this year?
Ugh...I just saw a commerical that says 4 out of 10 high schoolers do not graduate. I am not surprised, but it breaks my heart.... July 24 Time is flying...I'm in total shock about how quickly summer is passing by. My last posting was July 6, meaning I've known about my little girl for three weeks now! WOW! (and yes, I have several pink outfits now).
Things have been pretty consistent. I'm working a couple days a week and loving my job. I'm getting big/hot/uncomfortable, and yet I worked 34 hours from Friday to Tuesday, and still left each day with a bounce in my step. I am so proud to be a social worker and I really enjoy my job/coworkers/clients. In a few months, I may feel different as I get huge, but for now, I'm so blessed!
Today is my 4-year anniversary which is also amazing. I can't believe how lucky I've been to be married to such a wonderful person for 4 years. And this year is especially wonderful because we both have wonderful jobs, and our little girl is less than 20 weeks away!
The one thorn in my side (though its a small one) is that our house is on the market. Its been about 2 months and I DESPISE running around every morning cleaning for realtors who are here for 5 or 10 minutes. One woman today called me just as I had gone down for a nap (hey, I am pregnant!) and said "can we come by in a half hour" and at the end of the call said "so i'll see you in 45 minutes." She didn't show up for an hour and 15 minutes. Then was only here for a few minutes.
I'm so tired of the house being on the market. I am grateful that I can live in a big beautiful house, but its getting harder to clean and bend over! All in God's timing.... July 06 So unprepared for this... So we had another ultrasound and the baby is for sure a girl! Hooray! Our number one name right now is Olivia June. So there are moments when I feel ready for this baby and there are moments where I'm so in over my head. Like when we decided to register at Target (you can always check out our registry and buy something if you want...). And I was standing with the gun and the list of what I should buy and my husband by my side, I stared at the bottles and realized I know NOTHING about what to buy a child! I was staring at all of my options (drop-in, big, little, etc.) and as we stood there together for 20 minutes look blankly, we realized how unprepared we are. Interestingly, my husband worked at a daycare for 5 1/2 years, BUT did not really work with infants (he worked with two-year-olds and up), so although I thought he'd know what to buy, he was lost too! So we got our registry started. I'm sure there is stuff missing, and really, is the bathtub we registered for THAT much better than the others? Who knows, but it humbles me to think that maybe I still have several months of learning to do... June 24 Important life questions....So I've been reading the articles that talk about Amy Winehouse has early-stage emphysema. My first thought was how sad. And then the important questions like "how much crack do you have to smoke to get emphysema in your 20s?" I didn't even realize until just now (thanks to google) that she's only 24! She's only two months older than ME! So my second question is "how long and how much crack do you have to smoke to reach that point?"
Ironically, one of the articles said she lit up on her way out of the hospital. I don't know whether to be disgusted or just feel bad for her. I was a smoker and quit several years ago after some health issues. Trust me, that was a big motivator to quit ASAP. So we'll see if Amy cares enough to quit soon. Hopefully this will show young people that cigarettes + crack = BAD!
As my husband put it last night, "maybe when they asked her to go to rehab, she should have said yes, yes, yes."
 June 17 And the baby is a ... A girl? Its not 100%. The ultrasound tech asked if I wanted to know the sex and I said..."no, I'll wait for my husband." But then I thought I saw *ahem* boy parts. So I asked her to write it down and put it in an envelope so me and my husband could find out together! Since she wasn't directly looking for anything, she said its not 100% and she'll check for sure at my next ultrasound on July 3 (two weeks away!). But she was pretty sure its a girl! Its wonderful! I want a girl. My relationship with my own mom is one of the most important in my life, and I want to have a relationship like that with my daughter one day as well! So I'm pretty excited! Ooh, I'm watching a preview for Wall-E. I'm SO going to see that! June 10 Being a social worker... One of the searches that brought up my page was the phrase "i hate
being a social worker." Not exactly sure what the person was searching
for, but I thought I'd briefly talk about it! The entry that it
brought up was one I wrote right before starting graduate school
(August 2006) where I questioned our decision to go into this field.
So I'll pull it together since I'm done! Two years later, I am happy that I picked social work. Its a beautiful profession that combines advocacy both politically and for the individual with counseling and compassion. At church, we were studying "40 days of purpose." I had such a difficult time with it because I already have a purpose! I am so blessed that I get to combine my career with my purpose in life (to serve others). That meaning is what gets you through horrific painful stories and bad days! It is very stressful. Especially with adolescents...the stories I hear, the emotional meltdowns I see, and sometimes the parents I meet make this a tough job. There is a lot of evil in the world. Whether its a conscious thing or not on the part of parents, humans do terrible things to each other. However, the kids I work with give me such hope. They are so resilient, caring and compassionate towards each other. And getting the chance to listen to them and having them open up to you is an incredible feeling. A teacher told me that when working with drug addicts, never forget that we as social workers should be honored that the addict is including us in their journey to sobriety. People do not always have to open up to us, but they do, and we have to respect that and be humbled by that. On days when we have awesome group therapy or I get a brief chance to encourage a struggling teenager, I am honored that they allow me into their life, even if it is only briefly. I may be focusing more on motherhood these days, but being a social worker is truly a part of who I am. It will influence not only my career, but my faith and how I raise my own children. I definitely love being a social worker, even on the bad days, meaning I'm extremely happy with my choice to go into this field. |
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